In relationships and marriages, it’s common to find each partner taking the lead on specific household tasks rather than a precise 50/50 division.
For example, one partner might take on the bulk of the grocery shopping and meal preparation, while the other is tasked with making sure the kids get to school on time and keeping the home in top shape.
Numerous factors could contribute to these arrangements. One partner’s work schedule could align better with specific tasks, or they simply enjoy handling certain responsibilities. Alternatively, they might be aware of their partner’s aversion to a certain task and willingly take it on as a gesture of kindness. The list could go on.
But no matter the household dynamic, sharing tasks doesn’t imply that one partner can or should disengage from all responsibilities their partner handles. Both need to stay prepared to pitch in with tasks that can’t be put off, whether it’s taking care of the kids, tackling household chores, or (you probably saw this one coming)—managing finances.
Given that financial decisions impact both individuals in a relationship or marriage, both partners must have a seat at the table, even if one partner operates as the Chief Financial Officer of the home.
As a financial advisor who frequently engages in financial planning for couples, my top priority is ensuring that both partners feel seen and heard.
Why is this so important to me?
In short, active involvement from both parties has the potential to strengthen a couple’s bond, and I firmly believe that both partners deserve to have a voice and be equipped with the knowledge to make confident decisions that shape their shared future.
But beyond those very surface-level reasons, I’d like to explore further why I value the presence and engagement of both partners—and why I believe you should, too.
Fortifying Foundations: Building Bonds with Financial Transparency
It’s no secret that financial matters can put a strain on relationships and marriages, sometimes even leading to their demise. Many factors can contribute to money troubles in a relationship, but one of the main culprits is often a lack of communication.
Money talks can be challenging and uncomfortable, causing many couples to avoid the topic altogether. But no matter how daunting or uneasy, the conversations must take place. Seeking guidance from a financial advisor can be a positive initial step in overcoming barriers and fostering open communication about money matters.
Openly discussing finances promotes trust and transparency within a relationship. Even if you’ve mostly handled your finances separately until now, being mindful of each other’s situations, goals, spending habits, financial attitudes, and financial upbringing can offer fresh perspectives and lay the groundwork for trust.
Sometimes, a lack of awareness can result in instances of financial infidelity, where one partner hides financial information or makes significant decisions without consulting the other. Openness and transparency can help avert such issues.
Tip: If you’re overdue for a money talk with your partner or spouse (don’t worry, you’re not alone!), carve out some time within the next week to practice transparency by reviewing your current financial situation together. Gaining clarity on your current situation can be a helpful first step in determining your next moves, even if that involves seeking outside support from a financial advisor.
Aligned Ambitions: Partnering on Financial Dreams
Many partners share common goals like buying a home, saving for retirement, or starting a family. Talking about these shared aspirations and their financial implications can empower both partners to pursue them collectively.
However, there’s a notable distinction between casually discussing a shared goal and actually putting numbers on paper, setting measurable targets, and committing to working together toward achieving those goals. Having that mutual objective cultivates a sense of unity and cooperation within the relationship.
If that isn’t convincing enough to involve your partner or spouse, here’s another: Collaborating on financial goals encourages couples to think long-term, which naturally leads to envisioning their future together. This shared vision can create a sense of security and stability as both partners are invested in building a future together.
It’s clear that collaborating on money matters is far more profound than mere goals and monetary transactions; it involves shared decision-making, encourages alignment of values and priorities, and promotes teamwork. Ultimately, it has the potential to strengthen the bond of any relationship.
While recognizing the significance of shared goals, it’s equally important to acknowledge the value of individual aspirations. Pursuing personal goals doesn’t undermine your teamwork; instead, it reflects the unique perspectives within your partnership:
- One partner might be a natural saver, while the other spends more freely.
- One partner might view discretionary income as an opportunity to take on more risk in the market, while the other prefers a more conservative approach.
- One partner might have big dreams of starting a business, another in advancing their career.
Individual goals allow couples to honor and support each other. They also give each partner the autonomy to make decisions based on their values and preferences, nurturing mutual respect and understanding.
As a bonus, these distinct goals often pave the path for personal growth, which can ultimately financially benefit the relationship as a whole.
Tip: When you’re ready to engage in this conversation, or even if it’s been a while since you last discussed your goals, it’s essential to establish that it will be a safe environment for open and honest communication. Agree that there will be no judgment or criticism of each other. You can set a positive tone by reflecting on some of the milestones you’ve achieved together as a couple!
Beyond Rainy Day Funds: Preparing for Life’s Plot Twists
It’s not uncommon for one partner in a relationship or marriage to have a limited understanding or awareness of the household finances, including details about their assets and liabilities, their purpose, and how to access them. This lack of knowledge can stem from various factors, such as differences in financial responsibilities within the relationship or varying levels of interest in financial matters.
While it’s fine for one partner to assume the primary role in managing finances, both partners need to maintain a basic level of awareness and know-how about accessing important financial information.
It might be a challenging truth to face, but life’s unpredictability means circumstances can shift unexpectedly. If the partner who manages the finances becomes incapacitated or unavailable, the other partner should be equipped to manage the household finances smoothly during unforeseen circumstances.
Tip: Regardless of either partner’s interest level, make sure that both of you know how to access essential financial information. This includes knowing login details for accessing accounts and managing bills and having contact information readily available for financial professionals like your CPA and financial advisor.
Financial Planning for Couples: How Legacy Planning Can Help You Manage Money as a Couple
Managing money as a couple (even if each person’s involvement varies) is key to building trust, aligning shared goals, and securing financial stability together. However, conversations around money aren’t always easy, even with a partner or spouse.
If that has been your experience with your partner or spouse, it might be beneficial to enlist the expertise of a financial advisor who can serve as a knowledgeable guide and facilitate conversations about the things that matter most—your dreams and fears, strategies to reach your goals, pivotal financial decisions, and more.
It’s the heart of what we do here at Legacy Planning. Together, we can customize a financial plan that matches your needs and goals as a couple, ensuring both partners are in sync in working toward a prosperous future together. Managing money as a couple doesn’t have to feel overwhelming.
If you’re considering partnering with a financial planner to navigate meaningful conversations surrounding money, I’d love to see if we’re a good fit for working together! Click here to schedule a conversation today.
Content in this material is for general information only and is not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.
